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12 July
In Service to the Story - The Girl on the Ceiling
Recently I have been grappling with the fact that over the last ten years I have been writing a novel.
Originally entitled Darkroom, it is now into its seventh title and possibly its 20th draft. I say possibly because I have not kept them all. And yes, Darkroom does refer both to the photographic darkroom and the darkroom of the soul in which Gemma, my protagonist, wrestles mightily.I My novel is now called The Girl on the Ceiling
Big themes in this novel. It is about memory, deceitful and unmannered, it will not lie down. And evil, its subterfuge and its banality. The expectation of the mother as nurturer and all-seeing eye. The redemptive power of art, in this case photography. Heady stuff. Difficult stuff. Did I mention incest? It is beginning to sound like a Greek tragedy.
No wonder it has taken me ten years. The truly interesting thing is this. The content or the story was established in the first few drafts and has not changed dramatically over the years. It has won a couple of awards and received many encouraging comments such as "'This novel is not far from publication',' and 'deserving of publication' .
So why has it taken so long? I have found it baffling and at times very disheartening...
Then I did something radical, I started to rewrite the story from the beginning and in a new voice. After a few pages I knew I had done it. I had found the voice that the story required. The voice, the all important voice that says to the reader, listen: I have a story to tell which will shake you to your bones.
I felt like kissing the ground that the muse deigns to walk upon. Did you know that the muse walks among us? Lives in our heart? Whispers in our ear? That is why we have to be quiet and listen.
How have I managed to maintain my interest in this story? This is the nub. This is why I am writing this blog. Because I feel so strongly about it.
Because I feel that the story needs to be told.
Thinking further on this I realised that I am in service to the story. Fascinating. Humbling. It puts me firmly in my place. The story is what is important. I am merely the story teller. This is why I am working so diligently on telling it as well as I can. So you, the reader can enter into it, be moved by it and maybe learn something from it.
In service to the story. Now I know what I am doing. Have been dong over the past ten years. I have a quiet feeling of rightness. And satisfaction. It will be a good story. A good read.
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